[Editor's Note: Lawrence Lockman's BDN referred to in this editorial also appeared in AMG and can be read by clicking here.]
3/11/99
Larry Lockman served us another slice of his paranoid baloney in this paper on March 3. We have read it all before, but this time it strikes me as particularly hard-hearted. I had spoken about the real victimization in their own schools of kids who are perceived to be less than purely heterosexual or who may in fact be gay. Your paper reported it, but Lockman's only response was to claim that my statements were part of a vast left-wing conspiracy secretly designed to enable gays to grab everything.
He is so fixated on his fevered conspiracy theory that he can't seem to care about kids. Yet he calls his organization Concerned Maine Families. The only concern I have seen from them is to support the existing advantages of heterosexual males. I may be one of those, but I do not want advantage over others.
Oh I know, when we describe real discrimination against gays he claims first that it doesn't exist. When we show that it does he says we exaggerate. When we show that we are not exaggerating he claims we are bad-mouthing Maine. His commentary could hardly have made a better demonstration of the homophobia which he says does not exist. Fortunately most Mainers are kinder and more caring than he.
Here are some facts: Kids in middle and high schools very frequently insult one another, and the most common epithets are "faggot" and "queer." If you don't believe me, ask any middle or high school student. Studies show that on average students hear such homophobic words 25 to 30 times a day in school, and that teachers seldom pay any heed. These are the same situations where the "N word" applied to blacks, the "K word" applied to Jewish students, and the "C word" applied to females would not be tolerated. Physical intimidation or assault against kids believed to be gay are also common, and hateful statements are spit out: "They should all be killed. They are sick, disgusting."
Imagine that you are a student in the midst of trying to find out what kind of person you are becoming (the main task of adolescence) and that you are immersed in that hateful talk. Then imagine that you discover you may be gay. Could you possibly feel safe or valued in your school? The results of this poison in the school atmosphere include grievous self-doubt, violence, school dropout, depression, social isolation and a suicide rate at least triple that of non-gay adolescents. Many gay kids can't even turn to their own families for support.
It is the job of every public school to provide a safe learning environment for every student. Administrators and teachers know that. Unfortunately many of them do not know how to do it without excessive personal risk, as they do not believe they will have public support if they try to. So they just look the other way. Protecting students is what I was talking about, but Lockman clearly doesn't care. How many dropouts, runaways and dead kids would it take to turn his attention away from his political agenda?
If kids can worry less about being perceived to be gay, then all of them can relax a little more and learn to be themselves. Bending over backward to appear uncontaminated by gayness is not a healthy posture for growing. It leads too many boys to put on a show of hyper-masculinity with the harshness and insensitivity which that implies. That is not the sort of husbands and fathers we seek to raise. Many boys discover that they can best deflect "faggot" away from themselves by hurling the word at others. Girls, to "fit in" to the pure heterosexual image, too often become hyper-feminine with the incompetence which that implies. It is far better if kids can grow to be their whole selves.
Reducing human suffering and supporting people's full potential is my role as a psychologist, and I am pleased to include in that effort young people who are gay or who are questioning their sexuality.
School administrators, teachers or parents who would like information about how to make their schools safer for all their students by tackling the homophobia which is there are invited to contact the Maine Speakout Project at P.O. Box 15303, Portland 04112, or the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, P.O. Box 373, Ellsworth 04605.
Peter O. Rees is a psychologist who lives and practices in Trenton
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