Warren Swartz |
9/20/98
I guess I've heard everything now. Today's edition of the
state's largest newspaper reports that the
"Philander-in-Chief" has privately been telling his
closest friends and accomplices that Ken Starr is the one person
who is actually responsible for his involvement with Monica
Lewinsky. Clinton claims that the burden of Judge Starr's
relentless investigation into his affairs (Whitewater,
Travelgate, Filegate, Troopergate) drove him into Monica's arms.
He was seeking refuge, comfort, and solace, and that is, after
all, the real reason he began the relationship with Monica.
Damm-why didn't I think of that? So Ken Starr is to blame for the
mess Clinton's in. I knew there had to be some explanation-I just
never thought of that one before. Now at last, thank God, I
finally get how all this happened! And after looking at Hillary
for awhile, I can readily understand why any one would seek
solace elsewhere, can't you?
Those ubiquitous polls, mostly conducted by Bubba's best friends,
continue to show him with close to a 70% job approval rating.
What I find amazing about that is that he was elected, and twice,
with nowhere even close to 70% the vote. Last I knew, he won
reelection in 1996 with only some 24% of eligible voters casting
a Clinton ballot. In 1992, he would not have even won without the
help of the guy from Texas with the big ears who split the
conservative vote in two.
You'll recall that Perot, poll number dropping and costs rising,
dropped out of that race in the early spring. He reentered in
late August, a time when Bush's poll numbers began to climb and
seriously challenge Clinton's. You'll also recall that Perot gave
a real cockamamie explanation for his reentry into the race. He
claimed he did it to get back at Bush because Bush had tried to
sabotage his daughter's wedding by planting agents in the church!
I always thought that truth had more to do with Ron Brown, at
that time chairman of both the Democratic National Committee and
the Clinton-Gore campaign, and a matter of about $18 million
dollars. That is the amount Perot had spent, up until the time he
dropped out of the race-$18 million-and it was his own money too.
In my opinion, Brown gave Perot a way to get his money back, and
deal Bush's campaign a mortal blow into the bargain. And you've
got to admit it worked.
Of course we'll never be able to prove it now, because when Brown
died in a plane crash with what (I suppose it was a coincidence)
(4) forensic scientists have since testified was a bullet hole in
his head, the ongoing investigation into Brown's activities was
halted.
Brown is buried at Arlington National Cemetery in a location
reserved for war heroes and congressional medal winners -I
imagine not far from that other friend of Billy's, the guy they
had to dig up when they found out he had never even been in the
war, let alone combat.
When Brown's "hole in the head" story first broke, his
family requested that they dig him up too, but I guess all the
digging was ruining the lawn at Arlington, so the "powers
that be" decided against it.
A caller into a radio talk show I heard the other day said that
she was convinced that the Republican Party had paid Monica to
seduce Bubba, thereby creating the scandal that would destroy
him. She apparently was unaware of the fact that Monica's father
is the one who bought Monica's internship at the White House with
a contribution of $100,000 to the Democrat National Committee.
That should come as a surprise to no one because, in his
eagerness to finance his illegal 1996 TV campaign, Clinton sold
the White House and just about everything in it, with the
possible exception of the canned goods in the pantry.
Any day now I expect to find, at a tag sale, a can of peas marked
"For White House Consumption Only." And that will, as
they say, "Cop the Turkey."
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