Airport/Air Travel Horror stories.

I have been flying for over thirty years and been all over the world in doing so.

My first flight was going to Chicago for boot camp in 1975, the flight was booked by the recruiting station. Well I get to the airport on time and find out that most of us were headed for the same place, boot camp. Since this was a champagne flight and no one was in the first class section, the stewardess' allowed some of us to sit in the first class section. I got to go in the cockpit area and was fascinated.

We got great meals and instead of a glass of champagne we were given bottles of it. We landed on time and the crew made sure we got on the right bus.

The hell didn't start until we got off the bus and had the boot camp company commander yelling at a bunch of still half drunk recruits.

I have never had a bad experience in the airports or on the flights in all the flying I have done. (knocking on wood while typing)

I have a WHOPPER (yet very real) of a story to share but no time to get into it right now. It ended up with my having a Homeland Security Incident Report filed against me and my filing one against TSA personnel at the insistence of the supervisor of the local Homeland Security Division who witnessed the whole, ugly incident. Yes, it involved some gun stuff and flying. Give me some time to get caught up. This is an interesting one...... :shock:

My horror story is about something great that happened on a flight in 2000, I think, from Portland to Newark. The horror part is it can't happen again.

As we approached NYC, the pilot descended and flew over Manhattan precisely at the top of the World Trade Center buildings - what an awesome sight! Then he dropped even more and flew a loop around the Statue of Liberty. The applause did not stop until we touched down in Newark.

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to
make the in flight "safety lecture" and announcements
a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples
that have been heard or reported:

1. On a Southwest flight 245 (SW has no assigned
seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were
apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight
attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking
out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

2. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight
attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and
gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be
turning down the cabin lights. This is for your
comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight
attendants

3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to
take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave
anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to
have.

4. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but
there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"

5. "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We
hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we
enjoyed taking you for a ride."

6. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at
Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker:
"Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

7. After a particularly rough landing during
thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a
Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when
opening the overhead compartments because, after a
landing like that, sure as hell everything has
shifted."

8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard
Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa .. To operate your seat
belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull
tight. It works just like every other seat belt;
and, if you don't know how to operate one, you
probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

9. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure,
masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming,
grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have
a small child traveling with you, secure your mask
before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling
with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

10. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with
some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed
before we arrive. Thank you, and remember,
nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest
Airlines."

11. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation;
and, in the event of an emergency water landing,
please paddle to shore and take them with our
compliments."

12. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of
your belongings. Anything left behind will be
distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please
do not leave children or spouses."

13. And from the pilot during his welcome message:
"Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best
flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none
of them are on this flight!"

14. Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard
landing in Salt Lake City the flight attendant came on
the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I
know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it
wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's
fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was
the asphalt."

15. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into
Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy
day: During the final approach, the Captain really
had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the
Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome
to Amarillo Please remain in your seats with your seat
belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of
our airplane to the gate!"

16. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than
perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated
as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

17 An airline pilot wrote that on this particular
flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really
hard. The airline had a policy which required the
first officer to stand at the door while the
Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for
flying our airline." He said that, in light of his
bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers
in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart
comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a
little old lady walking with a
cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a
question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is
it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were
we shot down?"

18. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the
attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please
remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew
have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against
the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and
the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door
and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the
terminal."

19. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement:
"We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us
today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to
go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal
tube, we hope you'll think
of US Airways"

20. Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and
gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section
on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light
'em, you can smoke 'em."

21. A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport .
After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the
captain made an announcement over the intercom,
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain
speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from
New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good
and, therefore, we should have a smooth and
uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax.. OH, MY
GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the
captain came back on the intercom and said, "La dies
and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier.
While I was talking to you, the flight attendant
accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap.
You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in
Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back
of mine."

:lol: That was sooo funny.
My worst story is going through Toronto from Northern Canada. Pregnant the first time, they dumped us too late to catch my flight to Maine. And did not give a durn.
A few years later the exact same thing happened. Only this time I was pregnant and dragging an resisting 2 year old. I am standing in the middle of this hug airport, really pregnant and teary, not believing this many people to be such a bunch of morons. And them treating me like I was some leper with no place to go.

16 years ago I was on a plane the size of a matchbox going from Ashville to Charlottel..I was about 5 months pregnant at the time and a little queasy when we ran into a horrendus thunderstorm where the plane felt like it would fall 50 feet in 2 seconds...a little kid sitting right behind me kept saying were gonna die...were gonna die...I turned around to comfort him wondering why his mother wasn't doing that...he looked at me with giant eyes and said it's been a bbbbaaaadddd vacation and now I'll never see Daddy again...I said sure you will it will be okay...the kid says....nnnnoooo Daddy got his arm bit off by an Alligator and were never gonna make it home to Boston to see him....wwwwwaaaaaaa...big tears...his mother looks at me and says it was true!!! I was very happy to get off that connector flight and pick up my flight to Boston...guess who was sitting right behind me...yup the little profit of doom and his mama!

4 trips in the past 8 weeks

all flights delayed atleast 30 mins

Worst delay was 10 hours.
was to leave JFK at 5pm- took off at 3AM

in the Summer try not to have flights that take off during peak thunderstorm hours (4pm-8pm.)

:shock: Horrors of Horrors , I went to Logan yesterday,no construction going on,
road lead directly to Term. E, easy shorterm parking available across from terminal
and exit from airport was easy!

I am sure this will not last long and is a once in a lifetime occurance! :roll: [/code]

Mid 1970's on approach to Washington National when the pilot pulled the plane up SHARPLY and regained altitude. He came on the horn and said "Sorry about that folks, but when I land I kind of like to have the runway to myself." Then there was an overnight flight circa 1978 flying UTA coach fron LAX to Polynesia. When morning broke it was about 90 degrees in the cabin, most of the other passengers were French (heavy on the cologne), and the line to the head was about fifteen people long.