Dogs Instead of Children
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As a kid, I remember driving to the beach on hot summer nights in July and August after my father came home from work. There wasn’t a lot of time before the sun went down and mosquitoes came out, but neighborhood kids would pile out of the family car (most had only one back then), drop their towels, and run to the water. I was reminded of this recently as I’ve been spending a few hot, summer evenings at a local beach in South Portland, Maine after working all day fixing up the house my wife and I recently purchased as an investment. A few young parents would bring their children down in the late afternoon and then take them home again for supper.
More numerous, however, were people who brought their dogs. They would have been young parents two generations ago but now they’re pet owners. Arriving at the edge of the sand, they’d let their dogs off leash and they’d run to the water’s edge, then back to their owners. Soon, it became evident how greatly dogs outnumbered children.
The children seemed to know each other as did the dogs; it was a neighborhood beach. They were all fairly well-behaved and had a good time, but I couldn’t help thinking about what a major cultural shift I was witnessing.
Have you noticed how many young couples are getting dogs instead of having children? They’re putting off babies, or they’ve decided they don’t want children at all. Children are a lot of work - a lot of commitment. They’re expensive. They live longer than dogs too, and they demand much more time and attention. They require self-sacrifice. But what’s to become of us all if this trend continues?
The rest is here.
Cats are cool too. But they are smart enough to know they don't have to fetch.
I was thinking of this just yesterday. Delayed adulthood leads people to view dogs in the same way that teenagers would have viewed them, fifty years ago. On HGTV there's a show where people are looking for a house to buy; many episodes feature couples who are tailoring their house search around their pet dog(s).........it happens at least as often as those who have children.
Vic: Are you sure about the spiked collars?
Cats are cool too. But they are smart enough to know they don't have to fetch.
Dogs see you feed them, let them in and out, pet them and take care of them, and they say: "You are a god!"
Cats see you feed them, let them in and out, pet them and take care of them, and they say: "I am a god!"
Tom, yes I m sure about the spiked collars. If your dog brings home a mate with one then you have as big a behavioral problem as you would if a human child did.
BTW: We actually shopped for our house based on dog-suitability. With two or three Great Pyrenees at a time in the household(my wife campaigns them at AKC dog shows), not every house's logsitics would work. And, being courteous, suitable houses too close to neighbors wouldn't work well either because as territorial protectors they do bark when intruders (human, feline or chipmonk) are near.
I must run. I have a giant fur-ball pawing me because she can't figure out why I'm on the computer instead of brushing her.
My wife and I did everything we wanted to do for adventures, travel, and selfish exploitation of the world. Then the biological clocks began to hit the critical time to have children without high risks. Before we became parents we were god parents because people trusted us to do well.
It's possible to do the things you want and then dedicate your life to raising a child.
Just the other day my in-laws had to put down their dog because it had a serious infection that could spread to the grandchildren. Vet bills can be just as expensive as having a child.
Dogs are great. We've had three good ones. Some others I'd rather not have lived with, but oh well. We're dogless now and that's okay too. Yes, they are expensive. One of the good ones we spent a lot of money on near the end.
It would have been easy to go off on tangents here. There are many other components to what went into trends that shape current demographics, like contraception and changing sexual mores that affect marriage. Too much for an op ed, but these are some of the things I think about lately as I look around me.
Gosh, I remember a few good ones and one that was okay.
One was a true hunter, heaven forbid she get loose and go hunting on her own and she always found her duck or rabbit. But when she got home, she knew where her bread was buttered. It was with me. Always with me. But, when she died it was quick and unexpected. She was 14 years old and a beagle. I always have had a thing for beagles. This one had an attitude and had been passed from home to home. All she needed was some love and a long leash and an equally long run. She was extremely intelligent and quite a fighter. She had killed a coyote and she had the battle scars to prove it. This was not her only fight, she had others and won...can't say the same for her victims, not nearly as lucky. She was given to us as a gift. She only went hunting on her own a few times until we figured out kind of a collar would be best for her and what kind of leash and run would work best. When we moved up into the woods, it started all over again for about a month or two. She loved it when my father-in-law would come for a visit because he would take her for long walks on the 185 acres of land. All those new paths to check out. I think he was encouraging her.
I also had a beagle spaniel mix. This dog was something else. I got this dog as a puppy when I was a boy and she was well trained by my parents. No matter where we lived, they would walk her around the property line warning her never to cross it, never to lie on the furnure. She never did cross any of those boundaries. I remember the times when the ball would roll across the road on our quiet dead end street. She would stop at the end of the driveway and not go get the ball, somebody else would have to go get it...you could not even coax her to go and get it. It was this dog that was expensive to put down, she had cancer and it was running through out her body. I did not want to see her suffer, but I did want to see her put down either. So my parents had it done when I was in school. I was so mad at them because I never got to say goodbye. This dog was 11 years old. She and I had grown up together from the time I was toddler...before I had a brother and a sister. Loosing this dog was more than loosing a friend to me for several years. It took me a long time to understand that dogs could die from the diseases that people do.
It has been a long time since I have spoken about either of these dogs. I actually have a picture of one of them somewhere.
Tom: Great observations and it got me thinking.
One question pops up, however: do you think longer life expectancy factors into the delay in having children? I see many more "older" parents today. My parents were in their mid-early 20s when I arrived on the scene. I was in my mid-early 30s when I began my child rearing adventure. And yup, I had a dog before kids. Good practice, but as VIc so beautifully illustrates, hardly a comparison. Today, I have two teenage boys and a golden retriever. I love my golden.
Education plays a big part in the demographics mentioned. I have many relatives that are high school graduates or drop outs and some are grandparents at the age of 35. They stayed in Maine work low skill jobs in some cases or collect off the State welfare system. I would hear mumbled hearsay that they were all worried I'd never have children. Well at 36 I had my first child, so they can all relax now.
On a biological note a medical phenomenon is going on today. Young girls ate starting their menstrual cycles as young as 8 to 10 years old. Some blame growth hormones in all the products we eat. It's just odd given that more people wait until layer in life to have kids. Evolution would hint at layer physical maturing.
The chart on single black females can be explained by looking at prison numbers. 1 in 3 black males have been in prison.
As I recall, the Asian population is growing at the fastest pace of all other races in the US.
They eat dogs.
Dogs and children are definitely not mutually exclusive. I've raised three great dogs and two great kids. My son saw his first duck, his first partridge, and his first goose retrieved by the golden he grew up with. There's nothing better than kids and dogs together.
Every dog should have a boy.
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People are not anti-children. It is just that children pass from being adorable to becoming teenagers. If science found a way for children to skip right over to young adulthood, more people might have them.
At least with dogs:
You know where they are at night.
They are genuinely happy to see you when you get home.
They want to spend time at your side.
They never complain about taking rides or trips and never bark, "Are we there yet?"
They are never embarassed to be seen with you.
They are never bored.
You can get them to obey you with commands and a leash.
They will never bring home a mate with tatoos, pierced nose and a spiked collar.
They are happy to curl up next to you and watch whatever you want on TV without complaining that you are "old school" or "so 20th Century."
They eat whatever you put in front of them without complaining and they don't text or thumb their i-Pad while dining next to you.
And, when you speak to them they look you right in the eye and act like whatever it is you are saying is the most important thing they have ever heard.