The Babylon Bee is at it again LOL
WASHINGTON, D.C.—After receiving confirmation that she was at least 1/1024th Native American, Elizabeth Warren has embraced her fractional identity. Having gotten an authentic Native American outfit from a costume shop and armed herself with weapons she read on Wikipedia that a Native American might use -- such as the tomahawk -- Warren stood before a buffalo exhibit in the National Museum of Natural History at the Smithsonian to give a speech to the assembled press.
"You pale faces have taken my land, and have angered the Great Spirit!" Warren announced as she glanced down at her book of Native American terms. "This theft has angered my ancestors," Warren continued, though it was unclear if "ancestors" referred to her parents Pauline and Donald or people further back along her family tree. "You will return what is mine, or I will hit you with a wigwam." She paused to look at her book again. "No, that's not right."
President Trump took Warren's threat seriously, though, and was planning to assemble a cavalry to stop her. He's reportedly looking for anyone who is at least 1/1024th a cowboy.
In other headlines,
"Warren is 99.902% white while Ivory Snow is 99.44% pure, so,
Pocahontas is whiter than Ivory Snow"